At times I feel like I’m in elementary school, waiting on the playground for someone to pick me to play for their kickball team. For someone to say, “Hey you, there. We need you for our team!” Someone please pick me, I seem to cry out, in a variety of now semi-grown-up ways.
WORTH is something that me and my friends talk about alot. But it’s not about money or stuff that you own. It’s about how valuable you are to the world. To be honest, I tend to choose friends that I perceive to be valuable. You know, people that bring value to your life. As opposed to people that devalue your life, by treating you like crap. It seems like it’s pretty easy to tell when people don’t see your own personal value. Although, at the core of it, it’s probably not about you at all. It’s more about them not being able to see their true value that’s hindering them from fully loving you.
At times, I feel like I’m primping myself to get ready for the flea market. Not to go buy anything, but to put myself up for sale. I position myself just right on the folding table and watch the people walk by. “Free Samples!” I exclaim to certain strangers.
If I’m constantly looking for other people to determine my value (or the value of my art!), I’m only setting myself up for disappointment. The key for me seems to be found in taking time to meditate on how loved I am by God and the people around me who know me completely. I can take my question of value to them. But when I take that question outside of that small circle, I will certainly go crazy.
With my small band of brothers, we know that we have to constantly remind each other of our worth and value…it’s so easy to devalue ourselves…and easy to assume that other people don’t ever forget their value.