And if you’d like to visit the “20 Years In Nashville” landing page, please click here!

Success in Nashville can seem like stories I hear about people trying to climb Mount Everest. As the highest peak in the world, it’s a dangerous trek for climbers at any skill level, but stands as one of the greatest feats to conquer. The enormous difference between Everest and Nashville is that there is a clear-cut way to get to the summit of Everest. There’s no such path in Nashville. Sometimes it’s impossible to see where it is that you’re wanting to go, even though you know it is “up there.”

That’s what makes it so easy to compare my path to someone else who has already “made it” and wish mine looked more like theirs.

“You’ve got to make your own way,” I’ve been told.
“But I want my life to look just like _________ (fill in the blank with the artist du jour),” I whine. “That’s the kind of success I want.”
“Then you’ll always be frustrated when it doesn’t look like that. Write your own story, not someone else’s.”

This intense wondering if I’m actually crazy or not has been a hugely powerful force in my journey. I’ve got to prove myself not crazy—even if everyone else thinks I am. Hold onto an audacious dream long enough and people will think you’re crazy. Enough people think you’re crazy; you start to wonder if you are.

Over the years, there have been a handful of well-intentioned friends who have tried to convince me to give up on my dream of doing music stardom. Most of their intentions have been rooted in a desire to see my suffering cease.

“You’re so good at so many other things,” a friend would say over coffee.
“I know. But that doesn’t matter.”
“You’re a great writer. You should focus on your writing. There are so few really good writers out there. You stand a better chance at success with your writing.”
“Really?” I set down my coffee, slightly brewing. “So I should just settle for doing something less than my dreams because I’m better at it than a lot of other people?”
Silence. My friend senses my conundrum. My journey’s battle.
“I just don’t want to see you so frustrated,” he offers, resigned.
I can’t help but appreciate his compassion, my insanity glaring like a Christmas sweater with a flashing Rudolph nose. What’s wrong with me? It’s like some sick dream where I can’t take off this crazy sweater, its novelty worn out years ago.

Gerald May in “The Awakened Heart” writes: There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake… Our true identity, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire.

To desire something and not have it—is misery. I’m sure you know that feeling. The truth is that this life is very far from the life we desire. And honestly, it’s not going to get any better. But I’m thankful for glimpses of life as it’s intended.

I’m learning that contentment is not freedom from desire, but freedom of desire. Being content is not pretending that everything is the way you wish it would be; it is not acting as though you have no wishes. Rather, according to author John Eldridge, it is no longer being ruled by your desires.

I’m going for it, but I’m going to make sure I make several rest stops along the way, reset my contentment, and remember that this world is not my home, I am just passing through.

I’m throwing a party.

What it looks like is me investing, most importantly, in myself, as well as in the lives of people around me. It looks like me taking time to care for myself: through physical exercise, rest, entertainment, intellectual stimulation, good food and drink. It looks like creative risk-taking. Loving, laughing, listening. Calling people out of the blue to see how they’re doing. Finding and listening to music that I love. Reading great books. Drinking coffee frequently. And more that I can’t even put words on. But what it ultimately comes down to, is living for today…not waiting or hoping for what I’d like to see happen. There’s endless beauty and joy being offered to me today. Sometimes I just have to take my eyes off of my own navel to see it.
It also means that I’m fearlessly and courageously going to do whatever I can to create the life I desire. I’ve been waiting for other people to give me permission, or to make it easy for me. And since that’s not happening, if it’s gonna be, it’s up to me. And I’m worth it.

The sky is really blue today. I am loved well by many people in my life. I have great hope and optimism for the future, but even better…today rocks. I am a very rich man and I’m throwing a party.

And you’re invited.

Seriously, I’m throwing an actual party to celebrate my 20 years in Nashville on Friday, June 21st here in Germantown. Please send me an email if you’d like to come and I’ll get you all the details.

Connect to my 20 Years in Nashville home page right here!

Nashville is such a city of promise, filled with the allure of fame and fortune. Like Hollywood, without the tan. My understanding was that if you wanted to be a movie star, you move to California. If you want to do music, especially country or Christian, you move to Nashville.

Like the California Gold Rush of the mid-1800s, I heard that there was gold in them there hills of Nashville. Gold records, that is. The adventurer in me knew I needed to pack up my wagon and trek across the country from Minnesota to see what I might uncover, even if it meant that I would simply become an additional anonymous person making the trek, crowding the streets of Music City with another wide-eyed dream.

Heck, I had as good of a chance as anybody, right? I remember thinking a well-intentioned, charismatic, halfway-decent singer like me stood a pretty good shot at a record deal. I had bought records and seen concerts by artists who appeared to be a lot more mediocre than I was. People say the record industry just puts out crap. I say, why can’t they just put out my crap?

I packed my wagon (a tiny Plymouth Horizon that used to belong to my Grandma) to the gills with my CD collection and enough underwear to last a week. I was lovingly sent off by an extremely encouraging group of people who had probably never met a prospector. Sure, they’d seen them on TV or in the movies, but a real life dream-chasing gold-digger? Probably not one. I know I hadn’t. I had no role models.

Was I leaving Minnesota because I was in a rut? I think I was too young to be in a rut, but not too young to see people all around me living lives that I didn’t want to live. I could see the future screaming toward me on the tracks where I was standing, and it looked…um, boring. Time to find some new tracks.

If you ever come to Nashville, you’ll notice there are a ton of horse farms surrounding the city. Whether it’s to the post office or the grocery store, there is always beauty to be observed in the tree-covered hills and animal-filled farms. One particular area I pass frequently has a large ravine carved by water runoff. One day I noticed there were about fifteen horses hanging out in the dried-up ravine. But there was one lone horse standing on the side. For some reason, he chose not to be down in the ditch with everyone else. That’s I how want to live, I thought.

I don’t want to live in a rut. It’s easy to slip in the life we think we’re supposed to live, and then wake up one day wondering whose life we’re actually living, because it doesn’t feel like our own. Perhaps you’re like me, in that you don’t want to live anyone else’s life except for your own. But not just getting by, you want to be all-in. You want to live the grand adventure of life, experiencing all you can. Living life to the fullest.

To reach the higher ground,
You might have to climb out of a rut.

I’d love to hear how you choose to do this. We can share stories. Please send me an email or leave a comment below! I look forward to hearing from you.

As part of my celebration of 20 years in Nashville, I’m sharing some stories from my past—some parts of my journey that have influenced me the most. Here’s a look back to when I was just a wee kid, wondering who I’m supposed to be.

Watch my intro video here!
—————–
It’s Donny’s fault. At least, partly. And if I’m being completely honest, Marie’s too. What they did to me was nothing short of life-changing. They combined singing, dancing, acting, effusive charm, a dazzling array of costumes, in-studio ice-skating, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation in their televised variety shows, just enough for me to permanently place performing in the back of my head as what I really wanted to do when I grew up. I even had a talented sibling! I was halfway there! If someone asked what I wanted to do for a career, I’d say “A mailman or a fireman,” but I knew the truth. And I knew I couldn’t speak it out loud.

“Dad?” I asked, after walking up the stairs from watching “Donny & Marie” in the basement of our house in Richfield. “When can I take voice lessons?” For some reason, I knew in order to be a professional, I had to have voice lessons.

“When you get older you can take voice lessons.” He didn’t say no, exactly. He just didn’t say if he meant older, like next year, or older like when you pay your own mortgage. Voice lessons were to be saved for the extremely talented, and the rich. Normal, middle-class people don’t just throw around money to work on something so intangible as your future career in show business. Little did they know. Armed with this confusion, I’d retreat to my bedroom and put on my headphones and try singing harmony with Hall & Oates, ELO or the Bill Gaither Trio. So much for eradicating my confusion.

I was a child longing for attention. I wasn’t rationalizing my talent as being worthy enough to warrant an audience; that honor would be left for all the opinionated, self-centered experts I’d meet later in life. I was simply convinced of the power of performance. Entertainers displayed emotions I knew were inside of me but had no idea how to express, and showed me feelings I could only dream of having myself. At an early age, something inside of me knew there had to be more to life than the monotony of static-line living. I wanted more than just a go-to-your-room, better-to-be-seen-than-heard modus operandi.

While I waited to grow up and take voice lessons, I found other things to do. I took piano lessons, learned how to play the trombone, baritone, and even a little tuba when my family moved to Orlando, Florida. Miss Presley said our junior high band needed a tuba player for the Sousa march we were required to play at District Competition. I learned the fingerings for that one song, enough for us to squeak by.

My first theatrical performance came in seventh grade. I entered on my knees, fake mustache already lop-sided, ironically exclaiming, “Reach for the stars, wherever you are!” I fell in love with the audience before they even knew my name.

Ultimately, what I am driven by is my desire to connect with another person—to inspire, encourage, challenge, or entertain.

When I write, I work to create things that mean something to me, things that I want to share. To not have an audience would be similar to cooking a great meal and not having anyone show up to eat it. Some would argue that my task, then, is to simply enjoy the meal by myself, savoring each bite, celebrating my own advanced culinary skills. That doesn’t cut it for me.

I like how Madeleine L’Engle describes it in Walking On Water: “There is no evading the fact that the artist yearns for ‘success,’ because that means that there has been a communication of the vision: that all the struggle has not been invalid.”

This doesn’t give me permission to just toss a bunch of random ingredients into a pot of hot water and throw a party. And as I grow in maturity, I’m learning that the most effective connection occurs within the context of excellence. People will listen to what you have to say if you speak with confidence and intelligence. More people will want to listen to your song if you don’t make any mistakes. If the door is opened to connect with another person and you give them something they’ve never seen, heard or tasted, they will ask for more. I’ve thought my good heart and sweet songs would translate into a music career. Turns out the music industry in Nashville is much more interested in someone excellent, than someone nice. Calling that superficial has been one of my biggest regrets.

Yes! I’m celebrating 20 years of living in Nashville!! And I’d love to have you join me! IN THE NASHVILLE AREA? I’m throwing a party here this coming Friday, June 21st. If you’d like to come, please send me a message and I’ll give you the details!!

NEW WORSHIP PROJECT!!: I can’t wait for you to hear it. Click here to listen & download it for FREE!

Here are the pieces that I’m adding to throughout the month…

• Read: “How Donny Osmond is Somewhat to Blame for My Actions”
• Read: “Why I Left Minnesota For Nashville”
• Read: “I’m Throwing A Party”
• Read: “I’m Not Crazy. Right?”

MN PEEPS: *Christian Book & Gift in Rochester, MN is offering each of my CD & my book for $5 each during the month of June!! Please stop by and support them!

I’d love to hear from you about your own journey! How do you find hope when times get tough? I look forward to hearing from you. Please shoot me an email here on the site, or right here! Or why not pick up the phone and call my special hotline: (615) 669-7632 – that’s 615-NOW-SMEE

A friend in New Hampshire said to help celebrate she will be doing “20 Random Acts of Kindness” during the month!! How awesome is that? Can’t wait to hear about it!

Hello! I hope you’re doing great. I need your help with someone kinda big. Next month will mark my 20th Anniversary of moving to Nashville and I want to do something to celebrate! Or several things. I’m just not sure what to do. But I do know that I want to involve you! So I’m wondering if you might have some creative ideas for me.

I want to come up with something that says THANK YOU to everybody who’s been so supportive and encouraging to me…but also to say a giant GOD IS AWESOME for writing such an interesting story with my life over the past 20 years (in particular)!!

The top entries that I receive, I’ll give a trio of my albums as a way of saying THANKS for being so creative.

I’m thinking along the lines of:

• Special anniversary compilation project – various songs – or perhaps new packaging for all three of my CDs together?
• Online concert
• CD & book giveaways or other kinds of contests
• Have fans record short videos saying why a song is one of their favorites
• Have people record themselves singing one of my songs (I like this one!!)
• What do you think?

See what I mean? I look forward to hearing from you. EMAIL ME HERE

And another HUGE thank you for the outpouring of love surrounding my appearance on ABC’s “Nashville.” Wow. Just amazing. The number one question I get asked is: “So, are they gonna have you on again sometime?” And the officially answer is… “I dunno.” We should find out next week if the show is even renewed for a  second season. And then, since they seem to use The 5 Spot (the venue I fake manage) frequently…there’s a good chance they might call me again. But there’s no way of knowing for sure.

I can’t predict the future, but I’m thankful I know the One who can see it all–front and back, and covers it all with Love.

God bless you & Thank you!!

Look for me in Episode 16 of ABC’s hit series “Nashville” – most likely to air on Wednesday, March 13th at 9pm Central. (Airdate is looking like April 3rd – “I Saw The Light” – Stay tuned!) Can you believe it?

You can read Part One here!

It was time. They needed me on the set. I walked down my little stairs and they pointed me to the awaiting van that would escort me to the set, a real life music venue just down the street called The 5 Spot.

The next three hours were filled with controlled chaos. I was determined to soak it all in, not knowing if I’d ever have this kind of opportunity again. Crew guys were running all over the place setting up lighting and cameras, and arranging the tables and chairs for the scene we were about to shoot. People were continually coming up to me and introducing themselves. I learned who to listen to, and where to go when I wasn’t filming. (They had the Director’s chairs set up to the side. One had the star’s name on it, and mine simply said “Cast.”)

The scene was going to be a dialogue between me and Jonathan Jackson, the famous actor who plays Avery on the show. He would enter The 5 Spot and walk over to me (sitting at the bar doing some paperwork) and try to convince me to let him play his music at my venue.

Jonathan arrived without any hoopla or fanfare. All business here. We shook hands, and the director explained the scene to us, what she was hoping to see. Then we rehearsed it a couple times, and then he left to go change clothes.

They called in the stand-ins while the crew continued to work on the lights and camera angles. I’ve never had a stand-in before. I’ve been one! But I’ve never had one. I’ve also been an extra so many times, that I had to take this opportunity to go over and talk with the background actors they had brought in for our scene. They were so surprised that I would come talk to them, because unfortunately, most key actors never talk to the extras. We shared our stories about where we came from, and took pictures with each other. Don’t ever forget where you came from, or you might lose your way to where you’re going.

We shot the scene so many times. Probably six or seven times from five or six different camera angles. Each time required intense concentration at the drop of a hat, in the midst of all the craziness swirling around us. Many shots were redone simply to re-choreograph the background actors.

In between takes they’d call in the 2nd team (the stand-ins) and me and Jonathan would retreat to our chairs, or the bathroom, or wherever. I’m grateful we had a chance to talk. He’s a great guy and we share a deep desire to be authentic men of faith. Then they’d call back the 1st team, and I’d high-five my stand-in, thanking him for his great work sitting there pretending to be me.

I couldn’t believe that I was sitting there acting with someone I’ve only seen on television before, like someone was going to come in at any moment and replace me with the real guy. It was easy to feel very insecure; I was certain my hand gestures were too big, and my facial expressions too dramatic.

I kept thinking about Joey on “Friends” when he got his big break playing Al Pacino’s “butt double” for a movie. Even though they only saw him from the waist down, he put way too much thought into it and the director ended up firing him for overacting so much. Somehow I have to rest in the fact that they picked me for this scene for some reason, and while I wasn’t sure exactly what that was, hopefully they will be glad they did.

The director was the right mix of encourager and coach. I found out later that she has directed tons of high-profile television shows like “ER” and “The West Wing.” I can only imagine what she’s had to deal with over the years. My character was compassionate at first, but she steered me to be less so as we progressed. We did the scene until everyone was convinced they had what they needed, and then told me I was done. Again, a handful of people (producers, etc.) came over and shook my hand and thanked me.

They shuttled me back to home base and my trailer. I grabbed my clothes and left. As I drove off to find some celebratory ice cream, I couldn’t help but wonder what the heck just happened?!

There’s been no mention of whether this amazing character that I brought to life will ever return to the show, but the director said, “Hope to see you again.” There’s always a chance, but I know for now, my job is to not ever think about that, but simply to soak in how incredible it is that I got this one shot.

Yes, I’ll be on national television in a couple weeks, and then later internationally. And there’s no way of knowing if my life will change any, if at all. But one thing is certain—people have been amazing. Not only at the shoot, but also on facebook, at church, or wherever. People are so excited, not only for me, but for the fact that they can look at the screen and say, “Hey, I know that guy!” Proof to me that everyone wants to be a part of a bigger story than (what feels like) their own simple life. We want to believe that dreams do come true. And that while life is very difficult for most people, every once in a while we get a glimpse at how good things can really be. And that if they keep believing and never give up…maybe, just maybe, it could happen for them, too.

Look for me in Episode 16 of ABC’s hit series “Nashville” – most likely to air on Wednesday, March 13th at 9pm Central. (Airdate is looking like April 3rd – “I Saw The Light” – Stay tuned!) Can you believe it?

Read part two HERE!

Turns out, fifth time’s the charm. Yes, I had auditioned for four different roles on the ABC hit television series “Nashville.” But it was the fifth one that clicked.

Around noon on Tuesday February 19th, my agent called: “They’d like to see you for a role on ‘Nashville.’ Can you come in this afternoon, and are you available to shoot tomorrow?”
“Absolutely.” Not sure how many other guys they asked to see.

I showed up at my agent’s office at 2:30 to be filmed delivering the lines from the short scene she had emailed. It was just like any other audition where you do what you think might work, and then leave hoping it did, but working harder to not think it about it any longer. They uploaded my audition for the casting director to check out.

Two hours later I got a call saying I’ve been placed “on hold” by the casting director. This usually means, “we kinda like you, and want to make sure you don’t book yourself on something else until we decide for sure if it’s you or the other guy we like a lot more.”

I couldn’t believe it. This is a good sign, but nothing’s for sure yet. Still, my excitement is growing. The possibility of actually getting on the show is closer than ever.

The next news came in an email from my agent, forwarded from casting:“Please send Mark Smeby’s info ASAP…he may have an 8:00 call… He has been approved by the Local Producers…we are at the Network now…should be no problem…”

Well, that sounded pretty amazing. I called my parents right away and told them the news. Still, the whole thing could fall through, you know, if the network execs think I look too much like somebody they don’t like, or some other crazy reason like that. I immediately proceeded to the workout room and got on the treadmill and stayed for the next eight hours. Actually, it was only an hour, but I wanted to feel like I at least did something to not look super fat on camera.

Now this was a special part for me. Instead of sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring, I went to my normal Tuesday night men’s group. Yes, I kept my phone in my lap, but everyone understood and shared my excitement. The meeting ended and we adjourned to our regular post-meeting Mexican restaurant. I sat and ate a taco and a few chips, trying to engage with what others were saying, all the while keeping my eyes on the phone. Yep, I was that guy.

About an hour in, I was just about to leave. I felt bad for allowing my anxiousness to make me so disengaged. To which a wise buddy replied, “So you want to go off and be anxious alone?” Touché. I sat back down and enjoyed the camaraderie.

Then the phone rang. They all heard it, and immediately stop talking, looking in my direction. I answered. Yep, it was the producer calling to congratulate me and say how she looked forward to meeting me in the morning at 8am. Unbelievable. I hung up the phone and the guys raised their glasses and broke into a huge cheer! It was a beautiful, priceless moment. So glad I wasn’t alone.

The next day was one surreal moment after another. I’ve been on shoots before, but nothing of this caliber. Nothing with this many people, or this much finely tuned organization. I was taken care of so well, and was continually thrilled at the kindness shown to me. They treated me like I was a special guest at their house, and not the schlep who just drove across the river to get to the set. Little did they know!

The day started with me getting shown to my trailer. I always wondered what it’d be like to have a trailer! I’m sure there are all different types of trailers for the different level of stars, but the basic premise is to give someone a place to change their clothes and pee in private. That’s about all you could do in this one. It was basically a doublewide porta-potty. There was a scene schedule for the day and a miniature version of the script waiting for me (something you could put in your pocket even while you were shooting). I got wardrobe approved and had a great time in the make-up chair. (The stylists are the ones with all the good stories on the set!) Then I waited.

I sat on the little bench in my doublewide and worked on my lines. Sometimes I would stand up and deliver the lines into the mirror. Then I’d pee. This process repeated about three times. Throw in a bunch of texting with friends, and you get the whole picture.

Then the knock came: “We’re ready for you on set!”

Read part two HERE!